Avenger's Texting
by DimensionJumperAlpha
Summary: What happens when the Avengers text? Well let's see. (feel free to request)
1. Chapter 1

**Avengers Texting**

Steve: Merry Christmas everyone.

Clint: I wish you a merry christmas! I wish you a merry christmas!

Tony: We are having the party at the Tower everyone. Dress nice and *Looks at Natasha* no weapons.

Natasha: If I can't bring weapons you can wear the Ironman suit.

Tony: B-but I have too.

Steve: she's right Tony. No Ironman Suit. We are off duty.

Tony: whatever Spangles.

Thor: What is this 'Christmas' you speak of?

Clint: you don't have that up there in Asgard?

Thor: No we do not. Know what is this Christmas?

Tony: Its where this fat man in a red and white suit climbs down your chimney and eats your cookies and milk then leaves gifts under the tree for everyone.

*Five minutes later*

Thor: WHAT! You mortals let this burglar man break into your house and rob you of cookies and milk?!

Clint: NO! that's not what Christmas is.

Steve: Tony! Look at what you did!

Tony: *Eye roll* Sorry?

Thor: Hang on my friends. I shall protect us from the evil man. what is his name?

Tony: Santa.

Clint: You're not helping Tony!

Tony: Am I supposed too?

Natasha: This is ridiculous.

Steve: Thor no, Santa is a good man. don't kill him.

*An hour later*

Wanda: Guys, Thor is in jail. What happened?

Steve: Oh no!

Wanda: what?

Clint: What does the news say about it?!

Wanda: um.. Thor attacked people wearing Santa suits.

Steve: TONY!

Tony: I didn't see this happening! Not my fault!

Natasha: Come on. Let's go bail out the God of Stupidity.

*A few minutes later*

Wanda: I still don't understand what's going on!


	2. Chapter 2

**Avengers Texting**

Clint: Hey Stark.. I have a question.

Stark: What is it Legolas?

Clint: If I was to bring a stray dog home would that be bad idea?

Stark: In my tower?! No! That's a bad idea… Why?

Clint: I may have or or maybe not have brought home a stray dog.

Stark: WWWHHHAAATTTT!

Clint: I uh…. got to go now….

Stark: Oh no you don't Barton! Where are you?

Clint:

Stark: Answer me Barton!

Clint:

Stark: Clint! I know you are seeing my messages! It shows me when you see them!

Clint:

Stark: CLINT WHATEVER YOURMIDDLENAME IS BARTON!

Clint: I lost the stray dog….my bad…..oops….

Stark:

Stark:

Clint: Tony?

Stark:

Clint: Um… would a I'm sorry work?

Stark: I'm going to kill you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Avengers Texting**

Natasha: Hey Steve I need to tell you something.

Steve: What is it?

Natasha: I found you a date this Saturday. She's a lovely girl, you'll like her.

Steve: Nat I have told you a hundred times! No! I'm too busy with S.H.I.E.L.D. to focus on having a relationship.

Natasha: Steve, you need to get out there. You are not frozen in ice anymore. You're going to age like everyone else.

Steve: ….No.

Natasha: Yes.

Steve: No Nat.

Natasha: Yes Steve.

Steve: No Natasha!

Natasha: Yes Steven! You need this!

Steve:

Natasha:

Steve: …No

Natasha: Ugh! Steve you are going to be single forever!


	4. Chapter 4

**Avengers Texting**

Tony: Ok guys, we got another person on Team Ironman! I'm adding someone new to the group chat.

Natasha: We did not agree to that name.

Tony: Shush. It's our name. Get over it.

T'Challa: Why am I on this? I am my own team.

Tony: What? We aren't good enough for you now too?!

T'Challa: That is not what I'm saying Mr. Stark!

Rhodes: Calm down Tony!

Tony: What? You going to be like Cap and fight us too, your 'majesty'! Man! Everyone is against us these days.

T'Challa: I'm just going to leave. I don't need to deal with you right now.

*Ta'Challa has left the group chat*

Tony: Good riddance.

Natasha: Tony what was that? You just lost us an ally!

Vision: Mr. Stark, I think it's best if you sat down and breathe for a moment.

Tony: :(

Rhodes: So this new guy who will be joining us on the field… who is he?

Tony: Oh right! Its Spiderman! Ta-da!

Natasha: Who?

Rhodes: What?

Vision: You sure that is wise Sir?

Tony: What? He is a great hero! Here, let me add him.

*Tony Stark adds Spiderman*

Spiderman: Wow! I'm in the Avengers Group Chat! This is so cool!

Tony: Calm down kid. Guys this is Spiderman. He will be joining us in the up-coming fight.

Rhodes: Is he even legal age Tony?

Natasha: Tony I'm looking him up now.

Tony: That won't be necessary!

Spiderman: uh…Mr. Stark?

Vision: Oh dear. Sir if Agent Romanoff finds out his age you will be in trouble.

Natasha: HE IS 15!

Rhodes: Wait? So he isn't even close to being an adult! Tony!

Spiderman: I turn 16 soon!

Tony: Great Vision, now I'm in trouble!

Spiderman: Sorry Mr. Stark. :'( I didn't mean to get you in trouble.

Tony: Guys, he can stop a truck with his bare hands! He'll be fine!

Natasha: I don't approve of this. He is just a kid.

Rhodes: I'm with Natasha on this one Tony. He is a kid!

Spiderman: This 'kid' is still here! And I'm not a kid! I want to help.

Tony: SEE! He wants to help. Let him prove himself to you. I have complete confidence this kid will help us win!

Natasha: Fine but if he gets hurt it's not on me.

Rhodes: Same man. He is your responsibility.

Spiderman: Woohoo!

Tony: ok kid listen up. Here what you are going to do.

Spiderman: yeah?

Tony: Stay in the background and don't fight anyone more experienced than you.

Spiderman: Uh wait? Isn't everyone more experienced than me?

Spiderman: Mr. Stark?

Spiderman: Helloooo?

Spiderman: Come on!


	5. Chapter 5

**Avengers Texting**

Thor: Hello! I'm BACK!

Hulk: Hulk too!

Tony: Oh, hey guys! Where have you two been?! You missed out on a lot of stuff.

Thor: oh well it's a long story.

Hulk: Nuh-uh. Hulk make story short. Hulk win fights, Thor comes and I win, Then Thor tries to leave and Hulk goes after him, Hulk then wakes up on weird place fighting a giant dog. Planet go BOOM! The end.

Tony:…..thats quite a story buddy.

*private message*

Tony: Yo, Thor! What happened to Bruce?

Thor: Oh, well you see I can explain. I accidentally end up on a planet, Sakaar, and got captured to be a gladiator. To earn my freedom I had to fight Hulk. WHICH I WOULD HAVE WON IF I WASN'T BEING ELECTROCUTED!

Tony: ….ok… What about the whole fighting a giant wolf thing? And what planet went boom?

Thor: Well I managed to revert Hulk back into Bruce Banner and we traveled off world with our new friend and my brother Loki.

Tony: WAIT! LOKI?

Thor: Yes and our new friend. Now as I was saying, we travelled off world and went to my home planet, Asguard to fight my older sister Hela. She was the Goddess of Death. To defeat her we had to bring back Surtur who in turn destroyed my home.

Tony: 0-0

Tony: Wow buddy, sorry for your loss.

Thor: Thank you. Oh! I'm going to add my new friend to the group chat!

*back to group chat*

*Thor adds Valkyrie to group chat*

Thor: Welcome to the group chat Valkyrie!

Hulk: Angry Girl!

Valkyrie: Hey guys.

Tony: When are you guys coming to visit Earth?

Thor: We are on our way now actually.

Tony: Great!

Valkyrie: My King, you are needed for a meeting now.

Thor: Ah yes, well must be off Man of Iron. I got King business to do.

Tony: WAIT! You're a King?! Since when?

Loki: Since Fathered died and Hela our older sister died. So Thor is the next logical answer to be King.

Tony: HOW DID YOU GET HERE!

Loki: Figure it out Sherlock.


	6. Spiderman Homecoming

**Avengers Texting**

 **Wow! I'm so glad you guys liked the last one! I just want everyone to know this isn't going to be in order, they are at random. Now onto the next one!**

Spiderman: Hey Happy. I was wondering, does Mr. Stark have anything for me to do today.

Happy: Kid, you just defeated the Vulture a few nights ago. Shouldn't you be resting and healing?

Spiderman: Yeah, but thanks to my super healing ability I'm all better know! Isn't that great!

Happy: Oh yeah, great

Spiderman: I have a feeling you don't mean that *sad emoji*

Happy: Hey kid, question.

Spiderman: shot.

Happy: I saw on the news this kid complaining how Spiderman took his car and never gave it back. Care to explain?

Spiderman: er- not really

Happy: Kid. What happened to the car?

Spiderman: Well I sort of- don't have my license yet… but it was AWESOME!

Happy: kid, what did you do to the car?

Spiderman: ….

Spiderman: I may have crashed it like 5 times…. I'm sure its salvageable.

Happy: Kid! *sigh* Tell me where it is and I'll have someone go pick it up and try to fix it.

Spiderman: ummmm

Happy: You don't know where you left it, do you.

Spiderman: Can I offer you a delicious churro?


	7. Chapter 7

**Group Chat Gone Wrong**

 _Requested by: FlareOfTheMidnightPanther_

*Tony created a group chat*

*Tony named group chat Boy Band Assemble*

*Tony added Steve, Clint, Bruce, and Thor*

Tony: Hey guys! Welcome to the official Avengers Group Chat!

Clint: Cool!

Steve: Why is the chat named Boy Band Assemble?

Thor: Great to be here!

Tony: Well I thought it sounded cool.

Steve: You forgot someone.

Clint: He is right. You forgot someone.

Tony: You're right! How could I have forgotten!

*Tony added J.A.R.V.I.S.*

Steve: seriously…

Clint: Come on man.

Tony: What?

Clint: Jarvis doesn't even have a phone! He is an A.I.

Steve: We meant Natasha! You forgot about Natasha.

Thor: Man of Iron, how could forget Widow of Black?!

Tony: oooh.

Clint: I'll add her, hang on.

*Clint added Natasha*

Natasha: What is this?

Clint: Tony made a group chat and didn't add you.

Tony: BRO!

Clint: Nat… you there?

Natasha:

Steve: well uh see you guys later…

Tony: Look Nat, come on! I was going to add you! Just later...

Thor: I must take my leave now, I bid you good luck.

Natasha:

Clint:

Tony:

Clint: Tony she isn't answering…

Tony: I noticed Legolas. What should I do?

Natasha:

Clint: I don't know man…. pack a bag and disappear.

J.A.R.V.I.S.: Sir, may suggest simply apologizing?

Tony: That's not helpful, J.A.R.V.I.S.

Natasha:

Clint: bro you are own your own. Bye.

Tony: Coward!

Natasha:

Tony: I'm just going to uh…go now Nat….uh bye

Natasha:

 **Part 2 coming soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Group Chat Gone Wrong**

 **Part 2**

 _Requested by: FlareOfTheMidnightPanther_

Steve: Hey guys, guess what!

Clint: What is the news Captain of America?

Steve: Cap? What are you talking about Clint?

Tony: Guys I'm on a date with my wife can you stop texting.

Thor: Uh, when did Tony get a wife?

Steve: J.A.R.V.I.S. what's going on?

J.A.R.V.I.S.: I believe this would be Agent Romanoff's revenge.

Steve: WHAT! All this is because of yesterday!

Thor: I'm confused. Who's really who?

Tony: Guys! Seriously! I'm trying to have dinner with my wife!

Clint: Friends, it is I, Thor Son of Odin Prince of Asguard!

Steve: Thank you Thor, we kind I figured that with the way you text.

Thor: Well we know that's Tony.

Steve: No duh

Thor: And we know Thor is Clint. And that leaves Clint as Tony. Oh this hurts my head.

Tony: GUYS! SILENCE ON THE CHAT! I DON'T CARE IF THE END OF THE WORLD IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! MY WIFE WILL KILL ME IF I DON'T SPEND ONE NIGHT WITH HER!

*Tony has left the group chat*

Steve: …well ok then. He is a little touchy.

Natasha: Hey guys. How's the chat going?

Steve: Natasha! What did you do to the chat!

Natasha: It wasn't just me. I had help.

Clint: Who has helped you Lady Widow?

Bruce: Hey guys.

Thor: Bruce!

Clint: What is the cause of this treachery?!

Steve: How could you! What happened to the Science Bros!?

Bruce: We are still science bros Tony. But this is from when you pranked me last week.

Steve:

Thor: *sigh* Tony, you brought this upon yourself

Steve: Ugh, you people are too sensitive

Natasha: Well, I will be taking my leave.

Bruce: Bye guys.

Steve: Wait! Nat, Bruce! You guys will fix this right?!

Steve: Guys?

Steve: Oh, come on, fine. Whatever, I'll have J.A.R.V.I.S. fix this.


End file.
